Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Harvest Beard or How to be Even Less Attractive to Women (with a bonus ramble at the end cause I'm out of it!)

So for some unknown reason, possibly laziness possibly forgetting my razor, I stopped shaving and decided I would go through harvest without doing so. I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in a previous post but I believe it deserves its very own because it slowly is becoming animate.

I'm currently starting week 4 of not shaving. I can't quite properly describe that which is currently growing on my face. What I can say is that it is a little itchy and good at catching grape juice from the numerous barrel siphons I have to do each day. I guess I would describe it as a lot here, not so much here, here or here, oh and a distinctive gap where sideburns would normally be. I would put a picture up but I fear no one would ever return to read this blog  (I added one...oh boy) It strikes that much fear in the heart of man. I can only imagine what my coworkers think. But alas, I'm going to see if I can't keep it going at least a month or so. I told one dude at work and he said he would join in my cause. I should make a charity or website or something "Beard for a cure", all proceeds go towards a clean barbershop shave or maybe alopecia universalis patients (almost makes sense...look it up if you don't know what it is).

obvious concern


Perhaps the most interesting part of this facial beast is the fact that its black except for numerous scattered blonde hairs. It's like there's a racial divide in my hair follicles; only time will tell if they can live peacefully side by side or whether one will oust the other in a bloody coup d'etat (better load up on after shave).

I haven't been getting a ton of sleep so I'm not even sure if any of this is going to make real sense or if it just makes sense in my mind. And I refuse to proofread it, so I'm assuming its riddled with words left out and "is" taking the place of "in" and what not.

Now I'm just going to stray off topic and none of this will probably be amusing so no need to read it really. I had a weird thought the other day: there is a thin line between hero and fool. I just wonder how often someone tries to do something heroic but just kinda fails and people are like "he really shouldn't have tried to do that", but I think more people should try more often. It might have something to do with an effect seen where people in large groups tend not to act because they assume someone else will but often no one does. This brings me to another random point: the existence of the truly self-less act. They say it doesn't exist and that the self-gratitude makes all acts of kindness somewhat selfish. But I disagree, I believe situations arise where you help someone out, you really don't want to, and afterwards you fell worse for doing so. Doesn't that make it self-less? Cause the person doing the act has gotten nothing out of it, right? I dunno, this is type of stuff that pops in your mind after several 12 hour work days and little sleep. It's almost funny, I'm already withering away (despite eating pretty well); I'm having to go like the dude from "into the wild" and add holes to my belt. Perhaps it's from a complete lack of drinking. Either way, I don't like it. I only have 2 pairs of work pants and I need them to fit for the next 2 months. Ahh well, I really am rambling now; I'm like an old man recounting tales from the past only the tale is a reconstruction of several other separate stories... "I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah."

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