A 2 dollar coin for your thoughts or You can't spell Vegemite without Give Me E.T.

My day off started as normal as any other day; I woke up at 10, made some tea, eggs and vegemite toast, spilled the tea all over myself and the counter, cursed, made more tea, enjoyed breakfast. Penola, being the bustling metropolis it is, obviously had tons to offer me on my day off: I could spend all day for 45 minutes enjoying the sites and sounds. So I set out for a small town called Beachport which is on the coast instead.

Breakfast of Champions

It was slightly overcast out so there was no way there were clouds at the beach. After an hour drive through the Australian bush (that's what she said....ha, yikes) I made it to Beachport. It was quite cloudy. I'm pretty sure I was just too stupid to find it, but I really didn't see much of a beach. That and there wasn't much of a port to speak of either. I was beginning to think this town was a lie. I can just see the city council meeting now "we gotta change our town name from Waterdock to something that will attract more visitors. I got it!...."Anywho, I hung out there for an hour or two and decided I wanted to get home before dark to go running. Which by the way seems much easier out here; perhaps its the lack of pollution or the constant need to run from a venomous animal (I only encountered one giant spider that tried to attack me on my route).

Now to change topics completely. I was recently informed by my sister about this little gem of information: there is a Coonawarra Guinea Pig Racing Association. THIS. IS. THE. GREATEST. THING. EVER. Not 

only do I plan on finding myself a guinea pig but I'm going to make him the rodent Usain Bolt. Obviously I'm going to invest heavily in performance enhancing drugs for the little guy (there's no way they
test). I'll have him looking like a wombat by race day. He will dominate the competition. They won't even leave the gates in fear of his wrath. And if all this doesn't end up happening, at least I'll get drunk and bet large amounts of money on some guinea pigs.  I did find the following from the archives. Enjoy:

and now More Fun Australian Facts!
-Root has nothing to do with plants here. I'll let you figure it out for yourselves.
-Pokies are what aussies call slot machines...what will they think of next? thongs meaning sandals? brecky meaning breakfast?
-Beachport seemed to have neither a beach nor a port. However it was kinda windy and flies kept attacking me. I suggest a referendum to call it Attackingflieswind or maybe Windyflyattacks or Newark.
-Fish and chips are often made with shark. Often from Great whites.Well not really, and now I can't get the image of deep-frying Jaws out of my head. Kinda funny. "Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed, I had a little drink about an hour ago, And it went right to my head" and "Moe: It can flashfry a buffalo in 30 seconds. Homer: but I want it now"
-After work, everyone sits around and has a couple beers; said "Beer O'clock". It's probably the best part of harvest. Even the head winemaker joins in (hell, it might be his idea). Shit, that reminds me; I'm next on case round. Knew I shoulda packed some Budweiser with me.
-The 5 cent coin is the smallest monetary denomination. So people just kinda round stuff up or down. It's somewhat strange. I'm waiting for my total to be 4.125 to see what they do. My guess: head explodes.
-and now a real fact: the city I live in, Penola, is where Australia's first and only saint, Mary Mackillop, spent most of her time and did all her work (she set up schools for any children to attend, you can look up the rest on Wikipedia). She was canonized in 2010 (way more recent than I thought). One can only guess who the second Australian saint will be: My vote is for Hugh Jackman, such a charmer.


I'm afraid no beard diaries this week, but stay tuned next week! I'm sure the anticipation is bowel-grumblingly painful....milk was a bad choice